|Then the reset button gets hit and everything goes back to the beginning…
||[Jul. 21st, 2005|10:00 pm]
Tabitha Fringe Chase
|[||state of being
|||||man that's better!||]|
HUGS AND THANK YOU FOLKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT!!!!
I sometimes forget that Nick is so much younger than me, and that he is just beginning to understand his emotions as they apply to a relationship. Everything should be better now, it certainly feels better. I got him to frankly and honestly talk about what was going on and all it honestly was that when I got the PTSD he began to forget the nature of our relationship, and I having a lot of trouble, (especially at first), just went with it, so we went from being partners to being more like husband and wife, something that honestly is not what either of us wanted or intended, and something that was wearing us both down. So now what is going on is we are back to our original arrangement, sometimes sleeping together sometimes sleeping apart, sleeping around all we want, doing what either of us wants when we want to with no obligation, etc. He will go to South Carolina in September, once he’s settled I will visit a few times, if I decide that I like it enough I will eventually move there too, but if we cohabitate we will each have our own rooms. He feels better and relieved, and so do I, neither one of us are cut out for the normal confines of a standard relationship, and this way we should be able to share our lives in a true sharing sense, having our own separate adventures, as well as our combined adventures, and all the while knowing that we love each other because we do!
Man what a friggin relief! This is what I was initially looking for, we both just kind of got sidetracked…
Now I do still have logistical issues, I should be able to stay here when we leave because it will be a good reminder instead of a painful memory, but I will still have to figure out how to get to and from work from here, maybe I could switch to 4 to 12 and do marta… hmm well that is still awhile away