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the begining of a long line of obligitory self indulgent depressed posts... - You don't have to fuck people over to survive [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Tabitha Fringe Chase

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the begining of a long line of obligitory self indulgent depressed posts... [Jul. 21st, 2005|02:45 pm]
Tabitha Fringe Chase
[state of being |infuriatedwhy after 27 years of looking?]

Can anyone please explain to me why it is that right after I figure out how to fix things in my life when I can visualize it when I am starting to feel relieved, that is always when everything blows up in my face? I mean Ill be miserable for months or even years, then I’ll come up with a realistic, (non-escapist), means of achieving it, I’ll put my energy into doing that and then boom it’s all shattered and I have to try to get to that same fucking point again… why the hell should I even continue to bother dealing with tabby issues, it only serves to make me feel even worse then when I start. Honestly maybe I need to just resign myself to having a life of naught but pain and skip the small breaks in between. I am so tired of dealing with things that don’t kill me but supposedly make me stronger, reality check those things do not make me fucking stronger they just continue to tap into what little fucking strength I have left. Also I wailed today for 45 minutes in an apartment full of people and not one fucking one of them have come by to see if I you know broke my fucking leg or something… WTF?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: retrofatale
2005-07-21 07:01 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry sweetie.

*hugs*

BTW, I need info about Sunday, I don't know if you got my text message back.
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[User Picture]From: tabby676
2005-07-21 07:04 pm (UTC)
i don't have your email addy... if you send it I'll send the info...
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[User Picture]From: retrofatale
2005-07-21 07:18 pm (UTC)
shartart at yahoo dot com
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[User Picture]From: tabby676
2005-07-21 07:22 pm (UTC)
there ya go...
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[User Picture]From: retrofatale
2005-07-21 07:30 pm (UTC)
got it, danke!
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[User Picture]From: animeoni
2005-07-21 08:28 pm (UTC)
Love you and am here for you. just ask me for anything.
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[User Picture]From: tabby676
2005-07-22 12:08 am (UTC)
love you too baby... I am just so fucking broken and tired right now... and all I can think is I want to go home... but now I don't have one anymore.
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[User Picture]From: tabby676
2005-07-22 12:09 am (UTC)
thanks for checking in on my sceaming.
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[User Picture]From: fuckeu
2005-07-21 10:13 pm (UTC)
i hope you feel better!!

things always go wrong twice, that way the third time can be the charm... i guess. everything goes wrong for me right when i have everythign almost just right as well.
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[User Picture]From: tabby676
2005-07-22 12:07 am (UTC)
thing have gone wrong for me every friggin time... there are no 3rd time charms for the tabby...

thank you though
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[User Picture]From: museumfreak
2005-07-22 08:50 pm (UTC)
hon, this is the way it always is. It's the same way for me. It's hard. But you gotta keep getting up!

and I wish I could give you anything but platitudes.
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[User Picture]From: ozgolith
2005-07-23 01:25 am (UTC)
It usually happens to me just as soon as I vocalize it to someone.

It's your b-day weekend. Just say screw it for a couple of days.
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