Hey I'm moving out from Dani's house soon. You might wanna drop her a line.
I fucking hate being me I don’t even know why I bother doing it anymore.
Because you've got something me and most of my friends lack: Heart. Hang in there kiddo~!
btw I don't have any contact info for you or dani any more... but you two are definatly invited to my birthday party sunday, just give me you email addy if you want to come... though honestly I don't know how much fun I will be....
You could be my roommate if you would live in LA, we could make really cool sculptures!
"..hate being you?" I get all happy fuzzy thinking about you.
thanks, but I friggin hate california...
My neighborhood must be 1/4 Vegan. The weather here is like something out of a story book, I am a half hour drive from mountains, deserts, sea cliffs, almost any kind of environment imaginable. The population is almost a microcosm of the world, so I get all kinds of cultural experiences. The people here treat creative artists like they have a real job. I understand that you might love georgia, but why hate California?
nope I got no love for georgia, but, I went to cali once for 2 weeks and coulden't leave my hotel room, why? on one end of the highway there were wildfires, on the other a friggin rock and mudslide, so there I sat for two weeks with nothing but police car chases and portents of the coming appocolypse to keep me company... so yeah it left a bitter tast in my mouth...
2005-07-22 12:31 am (UTC)
wow, you were caught between a rock and a hot place, ooh!, that was bad. seriously, damn that is a horror story! Sorry to hear that. I promise California is not all rock slides, and wildfires :-) The creative community is something rather special. The american impressionist movement flourished here for 50 years for good reason. I do not blame you for not wanting to come back, but if you decide to try again, I promise to show you the better side. We could spend weeks just exploring venice beach! (Little 5 expanded to it's own city)
did that last reply post?
yeah it posted anon though and I just screen posts that aren't from logged in friends cause I get trolls... a lot... and they sometimes leave very negative comments on my friends comments, starting flame wars and hurt feelings, so I screen em ;)
Why dont you call me when you have some time babe...Not sure how fond you are of the area/place I live in, but its not that expensive and Marta stops right in front of the complex.
"just a thought"
thanks, but I can't have my name on a lease, my credit is to effed...
are you looking for someone to sign for ya or a roomy?
We in das same boat....
Cept I have to find a place sooner.. and it has to be on marta line and not too far...
I don't wanna sign a lease again, but I may have to.. been thnkng iif I work two jobs I can afford my own studio apartrment or somethin..
If I got a place wiith 2 bedrooms and before Oct I'd definetly let you move in lease free.
ps.. I think Bri baby and Eric are possiibly stiill looking for a roomy and in that price range..
And you may hate being you but most of us love you for you..
I've been having those same kind of days myself lately, today not withstanding.
2005-07-21 06:56 pm (UTC)
squat my farm?
you live cause i need you and so many people love you. here is some advice i read to myself a lot- it is important to ask for what you want, your feelings and thoughts are OK, it is accpeptable to talk about yourself and your problems, who you are is OK.
but I know those things, I have no problem with who I am I have a problem with being me, i.e. the constant whirlwind of bullshit that has nothing to do with my control or selfimage that constantly steps in and prevents me from anything but a shadow of happiieness...
you'd think after
a horrible childhood
a violently abusive marriage
a non-voluntary commitment to a mental hospital based upon incorrect diagnosys
a slew of painfully bad relationships
being a "suspected terrorist"
I might have paid my dues to just get to slide down happy lane for some years, but no, here I go back through the wringer, not because of anything I did just because sometimes when people are learning about themselves they neglect to let you know that they have a problem until it is too friggin late...
sorry for dumping on you baby...
I'm so very sorry. That sucks so much! :(
I wish there was something I could do to help. I live in the wrong part of the country to be of any real assistance except for sending e-hugs and supportive energy if you want 'em.
I know you hate being you right now, but many people love that you are you. Please don't forget that.